I’m giving up on my dream and it’s killing me

Salam alaikum. I hope you can give me some advice. I’m 18, I think I’m pretty and I am not sad all the time. But from time to time, I feel a huge hole inside myself because I can’t do what I really want. I want to become a signer, but my family want me to be a doctor. I’m always dreaming, seeing myself performing stage. I used to sing before and play the guitar, but I don’t anymore. Now i’m starting to study medicine, and i’m afraid that i’m losing my dream. What can I do?

Please give me some advice,

– N

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Dear N,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter. I do sense your pain- but please keep yourself hopeful. If you despair, than you will have lost the chance to achieve your dream altogether. Perhaps you’re dreaming of a professional career, and your family are thinking more along the lines of what’s stable and provide you with a good future. It may also be that they want you to bank on something more certain. Of course, they may also have some concerns from a religious perspective. All of their concerns may be valid, and your dream is valid as well- the key here is to find a win-win.

Talk to your family and ask them what would be a win for them. Then tell them what would be a win for you; then work on finding something in the middle. It may be that you study medicine, but practice singing as a hobby in the short-term, especially until something more viable comes through for you. Also, it may be that you can address the religious concerns and come up a solution that meets both your wish and is in alignment with your values. All of these aspects will play a part in your success for the long term- good luck.

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